In Pursuit of Self-Love

I love myself.” Those were the most challenging words I’ve ever had to say. Now, you say it. Wasn’t that difficult? It’s incredible how we are conditioned to quickly and effortlessly give love to others, almost to the point of self-destruction. But, to love our own selves is considered selfish. Is it really selfish? Self-love is a part of self-preservation, and if you don’t love yourself first, how can you ever know when someone’s fake love is harming you?

Self-Love Is Hard But Necessary for Self-Perseveration

I think that self-love is an arduous battle. Our minds are filled with so much criticism from our own selves and from other people’s opinions of us. It’s funny to me how so many of us are out in the world looking for someone to love us, but we haven’t figured out how love should even feel. So, it is no surprise that many of us end up in toxic relationships and marriages with people who make us feel good at the moment. Not only this, we may even fall in love with things that make us feel suitable for the moment: toxic food, toxic relationships, toxic conversation, toxic everything. We are addicted to a brief sensation because we haven’t taken time to truly love ourselves.

Self-Love Isn’t About Being Arrogant or Inconsiderate of Others

No, I’m not talking about some freaky kind of love. Nor am I speaking about the conceited type of love. I’m talking plain ol’ getting to know yourself to know that you should exit quickly when something doesn’t feel right in any relationship.

Self-love is a healthy self-concept. It is about taking control of your life and not letting outside influences such as significant others, friends, bosses, drugs, or other things determine how useful you are to life itself. Being wide open to acceptance by others without first accepting yourself is lethal. It can literally kill you. This is because the moment someone dishes a significant blow to your ego, then you curl up in a ball and want to die. If you develop a strong sense of love for yourself, this self-love creates a barrier against outside destruction. When something doesn’t feel right, you say NO to this lousy relationship; NO to the disrespect; NO to the criticism; NO to the self-destructive habits.

A woman practicing self-love

Self-Love is Essential for Manifestation

Self-love isn’t only essential for self-preservation; it is also critical for manifestation. If you recall my book The Missing Link, I speak about love as the highest vibration on earth, even higher than gratitude. Why? Because love is surrender. It is letting go. Things no longer trouble you when you have a loving heart, and this surrender allows the universe to come in and start to work its magic. However, if your heart is full of dislike for yourself, how can you possibly manifest anything?

Why Is Gratitude Considered Selfless and Self-Love Considered Selfish?

Think about it. Some people can grasp the concept of gratitude but can’t grasp the idea of self-love. However, both are in the same vein. This is because one seems more selfish than the other. But is that true? Both gratitude and self-love are beneficial to who? You. These behaviors make you a better person. If you disagree, contemplate it deeper. When you choose to be thankful, it is beneficial to you. Why? So that you won’t attract bad things in your life. This is one of the fundamental principles of the law of attraction. Isn’t that a form of self-preservation? Why is gratitude often accepted as correct, but self-love is morally wrong when both center on protecting yourself from adverse situations?

As you and I embark on this journey to self-love, we have to keep in mind that this concept is not meant to formulate a superior attitude toward fellow human beings. It fortifies boundaries and protect our greatest resource: ourselves. How can you help others when you don’t help yourself first? I know this analogy may be a bit cliché, but when you are on an airplane, what do flight attendants tell you to do in case of an emergency? Do they say take the oxygen mask and hand it to your neighbor? Or do they instruct you to put yours on first? Self-preservation is the key to helping others, and this starts with a healthy sense of love for yourself. None of us can be of use to others if we feel crappy about ourselves every day.

How do you feel about self-love? Do you think it is essential in the manifestation process? Share your viewpoint in the comments section.

Image of a woman hugging herself 195235599 © Lesia Sementsova |

Disclaimer: This blog article is the opinion of the author. It is not meant to take the place of professional advice.

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